let go

Went to Starbucks today. Matt, Telisha, and Grayson. Good times. James called me. He's coming down next weekend. Good deal, good deal. I leave for Filmoore tomorrow. I hope we lose every game. I hate softball. MySpace is fixed, that's pretty cool I guess. I don't want to go to summer school.


Word of the day:
resolute (REZ-uh-loot) adjective
determined, firm, unwavering

Amanda is one resolute mother fucker.

I haven't written in a while. I don't really now why. I'm going to start up again.

So, I guess my myspace just got deleated because it said my age was 16? That's a little on the shitty side. If that is the case, I'm not going to make another one. I mean it this time.

I'll write tomorrow if I feel like it.

Why is highschool so retarded?
Why?
I don't just mean the whole getting up and going everyday for 6 hours, I mean everything. The people, the drama, the whole "experience".
It's pretty ridiculous and it should all just stop.
K, thnx.

I am in love with Tegan and Sara and Peach Propel.


( It's Sunday )

I can't stand living with my mother. It sucks saying that. I have friends whose mom's buy them joint paper, let them drink, who actually talk and do things with their daughters. If my mom wasn't the hypochondriac, over analyzing, insane christian that she is, I would love hanging out with her. I've seen how, and who she is when her thinking isn't warped by her god damn beliefs and religious practices.
I'm not asking for my mom to buy me joint paper. I'm not asking my mom to let me drink. I'm not asking my mom to let me date. I'm not asking my mom to let me have sex. I'm not asking my mom to watch R rated movies. I'm just asking my mom to let me do what normal 15 year old girls do. I'm sorry I don't agree with your beliefs, but I don't think I should be punished for that.

Rant, rant, rant, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc.


I've been tired for days and days..

This week went by pretty quickly. It was nice. Went to Stephanie's party thing tonight. It was pretty fun. We just hung out at Main Place and then watched Party Monster because my husband is in it. Even if he plays a drugged up, homosexual.

So, it really sucks when a good friend who you are not interested in, is interested in you.
You don't want to ruin the friendship, but it seems like no matter what happens it's just going
to be....awkward, and the friendship won't be the same. Buuuust. Hopefully it will all work itself out...


I'm so tired, but I don't feel like sleeping. I don't even know why I am on. I'm not talking to anyone. Whatever.

Long weekend.

Spent the night at Telisha's on Friday. Had a lot of fun. Went to Handy then walked to Bagel Me and talked about everything interesting.  My little brother was in the hospitol becuase he was throwing up blood, not so good. He's okay as of now, but the doctors think he may have diabetes. I stayed at Telisha's last night too, since my mom was in the hospital. We tried to pull an all nighter staying up on coffee and TONS of candy. Oh, and we watched the Grudge, because I'd never seen it. It was pretty scary, I guess. So, I've been feeling really sick and tired all day today and that's about it...

I crossed my fingers
But I didn't beg
Cause I knew you knew
I knew you knew I liked you

wa wawa wa wa wa

 

 

Testing is finally over.

Fuck yes.

Today was such a beautiful day. Rainy this morning (♥), wet for most of the day, and now it's sunny and nice. Even if there are dirty people and places around, California is still pretty.

Today was a day filled with classic high school drama, not so good. I think today I realized that some people really shouldn't date in highschool. At least not freshman year. Maybe me included? It seems like there is too much going on and we aren't emotionally stable enough to handle it all. If you can take it as a fun, nice, friendly, relationship, I think that's one thing. But people go into relationships wanting and expecting too much and end up getting hurt. That's how I am seeing it at least. I'm starting to sound like my mother, excuse me while I go hurl. K, tnx.

Peace homes.

Standardised testing is going to make me INSANEEEEEEEEEE!

Anhow, here are some pictures. Just for fun.

( Everything that keeps me together is fallin apart )